Texas Faith: Are Interfaith Marriages Good for Couples?

Interfaith couples must be admired by one and all. When couples are having difficulty in getting along, they are setting a new standard: respecting the otherness of someone else and accepting the God-given uniqueness of each other. They may have grown up in different religious traditions, but yet, religion is not a barrier. The poet philosopher of the East, Dr. Allama Iqbal, says, Religion does not teach one to have ill-will. 

Texas Faith :Are Interfaith Marriages Good for Couples?
Dallas Morning News | Published on June 18, 2013
By Bill McKenzie  
 

Naomi Schaefer Riley has a new book out with the title Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America. You can read about that book at this link and then this link.

Interestingly, Riley, a former Wall Street Journal editor who has written extensively about religion and culture, notes that 45 percent of all U.S. marriages in the last decade were between people of different faiths. Naturally, we may look at that as a sign of greater acceptance and tolerance, which a broad society needs to remain dynamic and growing.

But Riley also reports that marrying across religious lines may be very difficult for the couples involved. Their deeply-held differences may eventually become a problem, especially when it comes to raising children.

There are a number of ways we could go with this question, including why datingcouples may spend more time worrying about political differences than religious distinctions. Feel free to chime in on that aspect, if you like. But the main point I would like you to consider is this: Interfaith marriages may help the broader society, but are they good for the couples?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism

Marriage is between two individuals who are willing to commit to each other’s well-being. They dedicate their lives to each other till death does them apart. The couple marries as a fulfillment of their desire for each other, and there is rarely a consideration to help the broader society.

However, interfaith, inter-racial and inter-ethnic marriages have paved the way for others in the larger societies who were once denied the right to pursue their happiness. Stories abound, where the lovers were prevented, harassed or killed by the parents, society or the clergy. We must appreciate their sacrifice, even though that was not their intention.

I must add a couplet from Urdu and Hindi Language, written by the Master Indian poet Mirza Ghalib:

Ishq par zor naheeN, hai ye woh aatish ‘GHalib’
ki lagaaye na lage aur bujhaaye na bane

Love is such a flame Ghalib (pen name),
you cannot lit or extinguish it, it just happens.

Like all couples, the interfaith couple also endures similar strains in their relationship, (8.4 and 7.9 marital satisfaction on Riley Scale) but it may take the avatar of faith if they are at each other’s throat. It is always easy to blame the religion for our failings. However, interfaith and other inter-relationships tend to be stronger.

Political differences provide humor to some couples. My father and mother voted differently but never had a fight over it except the occasional cold wars. I am a Republican and my wife is a Democrat, and we make attempts to convince each other, but back off as quickly as we initiate it, when she quotes me the Quran, “That you cannot compel your spouse to believe what she does not want to believe.”

Interfaith couples must be admired by one and all. When couples are having difficulty in getting along, they are setting a new standard: respecting the otherness of someone else and accepting the God-given uniqueness of each other. They may have grown up in different religious traditions, but yet, religion is not a barrier. The poet philosopher of the East, Dr. Allama Iqbal, says, Religion does not teach one to have ill-will.

I am a marriage officiant and have performed a range of interfaith marriages as a part of my pluralism work.

To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at:http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/texas-faith-are-interfaith-marriages-good-for-couples.html/
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Added: Interfaith marriages performed include; Jewish-Christian; Hindu-Christian; Muslim-Jain; Hindu-Muslim, Atheist Hindu and  Jewish-Muslim and other combinations. For details, please visit: http://www.interfaithmarriages.blogspot.com/

This is my 133rd contribution at Dallas Morning News

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Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam,Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building aCohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day atwww.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links. 

Sexual Fantasies of impotent Muslim clerics; Virgins in heaven with endless sex

First of all Memri-TV focus on making their money by  providing entertainment based in making fun of Arabs in particular, and Muslims in general. They pick some idiot in some corner of the Middle East and present him as the main stream Muslim leader. Unfortunately for many, this looks like the view of all Muslims, because it is coming from “Memri Research Institute,” Baloney!  It is not the view of Muslims. 

The talk about virgins is a fantasy of impotent men to live off in an elusive world.  They have fired up their own imaginations with endless sexual apetite, that they dont' have it.  It is just not a few random Muslim clerics, but it is the fantasy of men from different races, ethnicities and religions,   men who are disappointed in their own manhood. 

 The ugly part of this story these guys are talking about is in the literature,  just like the hard core pornographic magazines in American society is avaialable, there is hard core literature among a few Muslim clerics– which does not represent the values of Islam. Even though most Muslims do not subscribe to this, they are afraid to question.

Here are three videos that I have watched: 

1. No Black women or Asian women found or wanted in Muslim heavenhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8lhuMG1fbQ&feature=youtu.be
2. Saudi Cleric Al Sweilem Extols Paradise's Black Eyed Virginshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60kEEdkWgzE
3. جنت میں حوروں کا تصورvirgins of Paradise Ur V  
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkT_P3FRjg4

The 3rd video is 7:38 Minute video and in Urdu language, the first part through 3rd minute is pure pornography. I bet the teens with raging sexual desires will possibly masturbate to this guys talk.


I am glad I ran into this video because of 2nd part of this video: It is by Mirza Tahir Ahmad and he interprets this as fantasy – he talks about “hoor” as an ideal man and woman in paradise free from the cycle of desires and satisfaction. Pleasure is a mental thing. I like his interpretation and response, except one small thing: The way he compares spicy Asian foods to the “tasteless” western food.  If he can improve on that comparison without the tone of denigration, I would pass this as an educational video.

Is it possible he is talking about the abstract ideals?
When the cleric in firs video talks about women should look at their men only, is he talking about super focused relationship with total loyalty? - It should have been vice versa also which the misogynistic idiot refuses to see.

When he talks about the strength of 1000 men, (in the 3rd video, the guy talks about 100 men) is he talking about what guys dream about in a relationship to please the woman sexually?

It sounds like fantasy of impotent men. Impotency is not derogatory, some men like this sheikh really believe in fantasy of being a potent man in that elusive paradise.
Are these guys transferring the ideal of this world- good sex, loyalty and exclusivity which they may not have to the fantasy of Paradise? Is their paradise a fantasy of day dreaming, that they consider being real and looking forward to it. 

As a Muslim, these videos are repulsive to me, they denigrate women. It’s not just a few Muslims who do this; it is by insecure men in all societies, faiths and races.

Mike Ghouse is a thinker, writer and a speaker on pluralism, interfaith, Islam, politics and building civil societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.www.MikeGhouse.net and www.TheGhousediary.com

Texas Faith: What does it mean to be an American?

Dallas Morning News - What does it mean to be an American.

To this immigrant American, the word American has always conjured up the image of my dear friend and father figure for over 36 years; Dadski Lt. Everett A. Blauvelt, USNR and a WW II Veteran (1916-2013) buried at the US National Cemetery in Grand Prairie. On his 97th birthday this January, we asked him to share the biggest lesson of his life – and his instant response was, “to mind my own business” shaking his head on every word.  Indeed, to be American is to mind our own business, and yet be compassionate and caring for fellow beings like Dadski.

Texas Faith : What does it mean to be an American today? 
Dallas Morning News | Published on June 11, 2013
By Bill McKenzie  
 
 
This question is more than an academic one. It goes to the heart of the immigration debate that is growing hot in the Senate this month. 

The Senate is debating a reform bill that could come up for a vote by July 1. A part of that legislation focuses on institutions that help immigrants become part of American society. I recently wrote a column about this aspect of the bill, which you can read at this link.

http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/columnists/william-mckenzie/20130513-william-mckenzie-senate-bill-would-help-immigrants-join-the-mainstream.ece

Tamar Jacoby of Immigration Works USA has written extensively about the concept of assimilation. As she has pointed out, what it means to be an American today is vastly different from what it meant in, say, the 1950s. 

Almost a decade ago, Jacoby wrote this:

We may need a new definition, or new understanding of assimilation — a definition that makes sense today, in an era of globalization, the Internet, identity politics, niche advertising and aTV dial that offers a choice among a hundred or more different channels.

“Even as they live out the melting pot myth, today’s immigrants and their children are searching for new ways to think and talk about it, and together, they and the rest of the nation face the challenge of updating the traditional ideal.”

For more of her essay, see this link: http://www.manhattan-institute.org/meltingpot/html/part_1.pdf

I would say we still are searching for an update for that ideal, including how immigrants become part of the mainstream without losing their ethnic identity.

This is obviously hard work. As our society becomes more diverse, America develops a broader and richer culture. At the same time, nations depend upon some common core of values, beliefs and identity to hang together. And that requires some kind of definition of what it means to be an American. 

So, how would you define being an American today?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism

 To be an American means to be free to live my life as I choose but with a responsibility to the common core values that enhance the safety of my fellow Americans. All it takes is to follow the rule of law to contribute towards a cohesive environment for everyone, one in which we function effectively when we understand that my freedom hinges on the freedom of people around me.

To this immigrant American, the word American has always conjured up the image of my dear friend and father figure for over 36 years; Dadski Lt. Everett A. Blauvelt, USNR and a WW II Veteran (1916-2013) buried at the US National Cemetery in Grand Prairie. On his 97th birthday this January, we asked him to share the biggest lesson of his life – and his instant response was, “to mind my own business” shaking his head on every word.  Indeed, to be American is to mind our own business, and yet be compassionate and caring for fellow beings like Dadski.

America is God’s own country and a microcosm of everything God has created in the universe from her geography, seasons, resources, people and diversity from sea to the shining sea. To be an American is to be in tune with our land.  

Our land is represented by native as well as immigrant Americans of every race, nationality, ethnicity, language, culture and religion. We see God as one, none and many, and in every form, male, female, genderless, existent and non-existent, being and a non-being, nameless and with innumerable names, yet what unites us is the idea of all men are created equal and every man has the right to his life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. 

Assimilation means being a part of the whole with our own unique identity. It does not mean we have to give up anything, or be not who we are not. Yet, it means we can choose to enjoy and celebrate the civic holidays together, respect each other, work together, drive on the same roads, uphold our constitution, defend and serve the nation together and mind our own food, drink, clothing, housing, beliefs and life style.  

Indeed, the phrase conservative American will take on a new avatar, it would mean minding our own business without messing with anyone else’s life-style. It amounts to learning to respect the otherness of others and accepting the God given uniqueness of each one of the 318 million Americans for the common core values of safety and well being of all.

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To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at:http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/texas-faith-what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-american-today.html/
 

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Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes inStanding up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal sitewww.MikeGhouse.net indexes his work through many links.

Texas Faith: Where’s the outrage over the atrocities in Syria?

As a Pluralist and a Muslim, who has stood up and spoken against every possible atrocity, prejudice and massacre, and who organizes the annual Holocaust and Genocides commemoration in Dallas since 2006, I am guilty of not giving due attention to the atrocities of Assad on the people of Syria. Shame on me! We have the moral responsibility to restore the safety of every human.  This note is a token of my repentance.

Mike Ghouse 
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Texas Faith : Where’s the outrage over the atrocities in Syria?

By Bill McKenzie /

| Dallas Morning News | Published on June 4, 2013

What about Syria? Why aren't we hearing many protests from religious leaders in the U.S. about the atrocities that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is bringing down upon his people? As this Reuters report states, 80,000 of his countrymen have been killed since they started protesting his government. 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/30/us-syria-russia-missiles-idUSBRE94T05S20130530

I raise that question because there is a general sense in the country that Americans don't want to get involved with Syria's meltdown. Polling data is clear about that.

But shouldn't people of faith in the U.S. at least be making a cause out of the deaths that are happening there?

After Rwanda, many Americans said we can't let a massacre like that happen again. Well, a leader is brutalizing his people and there aren't many howls about it. There may be the occasional statement, but not much more than that.

Is this because of a fear of American power getting out of hand? Is it because we are weary of the Mideast? Is it because we don't know what to do about the situation? Is it because we don't want to side with any of the players? Is it because of something else?

I would like to hear your thoughts about this issue. It's one thing to not get involved militarily in Syria. But do religious leaders and institutions in the U.S. not have some responsibility to speak out against the atrocities, pray for the victims and raise moral questions?
MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism 

As a pluralist and a Muslim, and as one who has stood up and spoken against every possible atrocity, prejudice and massacre, and as one who organizes the annual Holocaust and Genocides commemoration in Dallas, I am guilty of not giving due attention to the atrocities of Assad on the people of Syria. Shame on me!

Thanks for the opportunity for repentance through this blog entry. There is no excuse for our nonchalant attitudes given the scale of the massacre. Mr. McKenzie is right: We, as people of faith, should be making a cause out of the deaths that are happening in Syria.

A Syrian friend had shared with me videos of bombings and children being killed during his visits to Syria. However, there was that glimmer of hope that Assad would lose and people would determine their own destiny.

But this conflict is morphing into a battle between the Shia, Sunni and the Alawites. And that could deepen the chasm between the groups.

So, what can people of faith do? We have to do what spiritual masters like Jesus, and Muhammad have done, and that is mitigate conflicts and nurture goodwill. We might consider a delegation of Shia, Sunni, and Alawite Muslims, along with Christians and Jews, to invoke humility. Let’s not discount the power of prayer to communicate to the Syrians that we care.

What can the United States do? A lot of things besides the rhetoric. We need to get the Organization of Islamic Conference, a body of 56 Muslim-majority nations, to negotiate and bring a closure to this conflict. What is the point of having a body, if they can’t do that?

What we should not do is arm the rebels and cause more fighting, nor should we bomb like maniacs. We cannot be a party to death and destruction, as we have been in the past. Nor should we allow Americans to get burned at home through this conflict.

The last choice is to drone the guy and take him out with least collateral damage.

We do have the moral responsibility to restore the safety of every human.

Added note:

This conflict is indeed morphing into a battle between the Shia, Sunni and the Alawites and could deepen the chasm between the groups. Patrick Buchanan in his op-ed at the American conservative calls it Islam’s civil war and throws two powerful ideas of natural boundaries and who dares, wins. If these two ideas have merit, we may have to consider those options to end the conflict and stop the massacres.  ...........

To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at:http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/texas-faith-wheres-the-outrage-over-the-atrocities-in-syria.html/

Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes his work through many links.

Texas Faith: Do we put too much emphasis on the brain to explain human behaviors?

The social scientists have a greater role to play in completing the transaction of human behavior to separate the genuine conflicts from imagined ones to keep societal equilibrium. The new conflicts are a product of people of different faiths, cultures and races, working, eating, playing, marrying, and doing things together. Even with minimal interactions we have at this time, it is generating conflicts between those who believe their path alone brings salvation and those who believe in other avenues. 

  Texas Faith:  Do we put too much emphasis on the brain to explain human behaviors?

  

 

By Bill McKenzie /

| Dallas Morning News | Published on May 7,  2013Do we put too much emphasis on the brain?

That thought came to me after reading a recent New York Times piece that questioned whether kidswho are being diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder may simply suffer from loss of sleep. Wrote Dr. Vatsal Thakkar, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University’s School of Medicine:

“I don’t doubt that many people do, in fact, have A.D.H.D.; I regularly diagnose and treat it in adults. But what if a substantial proportion of cases are really sleep orders in disguise?”

Don’t get me wrong. I am fascinated by how much more we know about the brain’s influence over our behaviors. Recently, I did an interview with Dr. Sandra Bond Chapman of the Center of BrainHealth at University of Texas at Dallas. She talked about how the brain’s development affects early learning. You can read more about her thoughts at this link.

Still, I have wondered whether the science of brain chemistry has risen to such a place that we may overlook other reasons for behavior. That includes whether the old-fashioned notion of sin could perhaps also explain the actions people take. Could it be that man’s rebellion against God is driving people to act the way they do as much as any influence their brain has on their actions?

We can never quantify the reasons for actions, but I would like to hear your thoughts about this issue: Are we relying too much on the science of the brain to explain human behaviors?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism

When our universe came in to existence, two major components were its outcome; matter and life. Matter, comprising the sun, planets, moon, and everything else in the universe was programmed to maintain its own equilibrium, and doing precisely what they were scheduled to do. As humans, we were not set on a fixed program, but are equipped with a brain to freely guide us to find our own dynamic balance.

When we go off the balance, we consciously or instinctively make attempts to regain that elusive balance, failure to do so will result in a variety of pleasant and unpleasant actions that we may enjoy and or painfully endure. For guidance, we reach out to the stocked shelf and grab elements of religion like forgiveness, repentance, prayers, meditation and a variety of prescriptions to reboot our system.

Are we relying too much on the science of the brain to explain human behaviors?

Not at all, we are still at a nascent stage of exploring all that our brain does reflexively by the deficiency or excess of the chemicals. The more we identify the elements the greater chances we have of mitigating the nature of our being. Thanks to the insights unearthed in the interview with Dr. Sandra Bond Chapman. It gives a lot of hope.

However, a greater part of our behavior is nurtured by the social aspect of the environment, including what transpires in the developmental stage of our lives and as a member of the society at large. The founding fathers of human behavior like Freud, Jung and others were successful in identifying the behavioral issues stemming from nurture.

And now the social scientists have a greater role to play in completing the transaction of human behavior to separate the genuine conflicts from imagined ones to keep societal equilibrium. The new conflicts are a product of people of different faiths, cultures and races, working, eating, playing, marrying, and doing things together. Even with minimal interactions we have at this time, it is generating conflicts between those who believe their path alone brings salvation and those who believe in other avenues.

Pluralism is the upcoming social supplement for salvation. If we can learn to respect the otherness of others and accept the God-given uniqueness of each one of us, then conflicts fade and solutions emerge for cohesive and functional societies.

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To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at: http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/05/texas-faith-do-we-put-too-much-emphasis-on-the-brain-to-explain-human-behaviors.html/


....Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest onSean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly atHuffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal sitewww.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.