Texas Faith: Are Interfaith Marriages Good for Couples?

Interfaith couples must be admired by one and all. When couples are having difficulty in getting along, they are setting a new standard: respecting the otherness of someone else and accepting the God-given uniqueness of each other. They may have grown up in different religious traditions, but yet, religion is not a barrier. The poet philosopher of the East, Dr. Allama Iqbal, says, Religion does not teach one to have ill-will. 

Texas Faith :Are Interfaith Marriages Good for Couples?
Dallas Morning News | Published on June 18, 2013
By Bill McKenzie  
 

Naomi Schaefer Riley has a new book out with the title Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America. You can read about that book at this link and then this link.

Interestingly, Riley, a former Wall Street Journal editor who has written extensively about religion and culture, notes that 45 percent of all U.S. marriages in the last decade were between people of different faiths. Naturally, we may look at that as a sign of greater acceptance and tolerance, which a broad society needs to remain dynamic and growing.

But Riley also reports that marrying across religious lines may be very difficult for the couples involved. Their deeply-held differences may eventually become a problem, especially when it comes to raising children.

There are a number of ways we could go with this question, including why datingcouples may spend more time worrying about political differences than religious distinctions. Feel free to chime in on that aspect, if you like. But the main point I would like you to consider is this: Interfaith marriages may help the broader society, but are they good for the couples?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism

Marriage is between two individuals who are willing to commit to each other’s well-being. They dedicate their lives to each other till death does them apart. The couple marries as a fulfillment of their desire for each other, and there is rarely a consideration to help the broader society.

However, interfaith, inter-racial and inter-ethnic marriages have paved the way for others in the larger societies who were once denied the right to pursue their happiness. Stories abound, where the lovers were prevented, harassed or killed by the parents, society or the clergy. We must appreciate their sacrifice, even though that was not their intention.

I must add a couplet from Urdu and Hindi Language, written by the Master Indian poet Mirza Ghalib:

Ishq par zor naheeN, hai ye woh aatish ‘GHalib’
ki lagaaye na lage aur bujhaaye na bane

Love is such a flame Ghalib (pen name),
you cannot lit or extinguish it, it just happens.

Like all couples, the interfaith couple also endures similar strains in their relationship, (8.4 and 7.9 marital satisfaction on Riley Scale) but it may take the avatar of faith if they are at each other’s throat. It is always easy to blame the religion for our failings. However, interfaith and other inter-relationships tend to be stronger.

Political differences provide humor to some couples. My father and mother voted differently but never had a fight over it except the occasional cold wars. I am a Republican and my wife is a Democrat, and we make attempts to convince each other, but back off as quickly as we initiate it, when she quotes me the Quran, “That you cannot compel your spouse to believe what she does not want to believe.”

Interfaith couples must be admired by one and all. When couples are having difficulty in getting along, they are setting a new standard: respecting the otherness of someone else and accepting the God-given uniqueness of each other. They may have grown up in different religious traditions, but yet, religion is not a barrier. The poet philosopher of the East, Dr. Allama Iqbal, says, Religion does not teach one to have ill-will.

I am a marriage officiant and have performed a range of interfaith marriages as a part of my pluralism work.

To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at:http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/texas-faith-are-interfaith-marriages-good-for-couples.html/
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Added: Interfaith marriages performed include; Jewish-Christian; Hindu-Christian; Muslim-Jain; Hindu-Muslim, Atheist Hindu and  Jewish-Muslim and other combinations. For details, please visit: http://www.interfaithmarriages.blogspot.com/

This is my 133rd contribution at Dallas Morning News

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Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam,Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building aCohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day atwww.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links. 

Texas Faith: Where’s the outrage over the atrocities in Syria?

As a Pluralist and a Muslim, who has stood up and spoken against every possible atrocity, prejudice and massacre, and who organizes the annual Holocaust and Genocides commemoration in Dallas since 2006, I am guilty of not giving due attention to the atrocities of Assad on the people of Syria. Shame on me! We have the moral responsibility to restore the safety of every human.  This note is a token of my repentance.

Mike Ghouse 
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Texas Faith : Where’s the outrage over the atrocities in Syria?

By Bill McKenzie /

| Dallas Morning News | Published on June 4, 2013

What about Syria? Why aren't we hearing many protests from religious leaders in the U.S. about the atrocities that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is bringing down upon his people? As this Reuters report states, 80,000 of his countrymen have been killed since they started protesting his government. 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/30/us-syria-russia-missiles-idUSBRE94T05S20130530

I raise that question because there is a general sense in the country that Americans don't want to get involved with Syria's meltdown. Polling data is clear about that.

But shouldn't people of faith in the U.S. at least be making a cause out of the deaths that are happening there?

After Rwanda, many Americans said we can't let a massacre like that happen again. Well, a leader is brutalizing his people and there aren't many howls about it. There may be the occasional statement, but not much more than that.

Is this because of a fear of American power getting out of hand? Is it because we are weary of the Mideast? Is it because we don't know what to do about the situation? Is it because we don't want to side with any of the players? Is it because of something else?

I would like to hear your thoughts about this issue. It's one thing to not get involved militarily in Syria. But do religious leaders and institutions in the U.S. not have some responsibility to speak out against the atrocities, pray for the victims and raise moral questions?
MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism 

As a pluralist and a Muslim, and as one who has stood up and spoken against every possible atrocity, prejudice and massacre, and as one who organizes the annual Holocaust and Genocides commemoration in Dallas, I am guilty of not giving due attention to the atrocities of Assad on the people of Syria. Shame on me!

Thanks for the opportunity for repentance through this blog entry. There is no excuse for our nonchalant attitudes given the scale of the massacre. Mr. McKenzie is right: We, as people of faith, should be making a cause out of the deaths that are happening in Syria.

A Syrian friend had shared with me videos of bombings and children being killed during his visits to Syria. However, there was that glimmer of hope that Assad would lose and people would determine their own destiny.

But this conflict is morphing into a battle between the Shia, Sunni and the Alawites. And that could deepen the chasm between the groups.

So, what can people of faith do? We have to do what spiritual masters like Jesus, and Muhammad have done, and that is mitigate conflicts and nurture goodwill. We might consider a delegation of Shia, Sunni, and Alawite Muslims, along with Christians and Jews, to invoke humility. Let’s not discount the power of prayer to communicate to the Syrians that we care.

What can the United States do? A lot of things besides the rhetoric. We need to get the Organization of Islamic Conference, a body of 56 Muslim-majority nations, to negotiate and bring a closure to this conflict. What is the point of having a body, if they can’t do that?

What we should not do is arm the rebels and cause more fighting, nor should we bomb like maniacs. We cannot be a party to death and destruction, as we have been in the past. Nor should we allow Americans to get burned at home through this conflict.

The last choice is to drone the guy and take him out with least collateral damage.

We do have the moral responsibility to restore the safety of every human.

Added note:

This conflict is indeed morphing into a battle between the Shia, Sunni and the Alawites and could deepen the chasm between the groups. Patrick Buchanan in his op-ed at the American conservative calls it Islam’s civil war and throws two powerful ideas of natural boundaries and who dares, wins. If these two ideas have merit, we may have to consider those options to end the conflict and stop the massacres.  ...........

To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at:http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/texas-faith-wheres-the-outrage-over-the-atrocities-in-syria.html/

Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes his work through many links.

Texas Faith: Do we put too much emphasis on the brain to explain human behaviors?

The social scientists have a greater role to play in completing the transaction of human behavior to separate the genuine conflicts from imagined ones to keep societal equilibrium. The new conflicts are a product of people of different faiths, cultures and races, working, eating, playing, marrying, and doing things together. Even with minimal interactions we have at this time, it is generating conflicts between those who believe their path alone brings salvation and those who believe in other avenues. 

  Texas Faith:  Do we put too much emphasis on the brain to explain human behaviors?

  

 

By Bill McKenzie /

| Dallas Morning News | Published on May 7,  2013Do we put too much emphasis on the brain?

That thought came to me after reading a recent New York Times piece that questioned whether kidswho are being diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder may simply suffer from loss of sleep. Wrote Dr. Vatsal Thakkar, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University’s School of Medicine:

“I don’t doubt that many people do, in fact, have A.D.H.D.; I regularly diagnose and treat it in adults. But what if a substantial proportion of cases are really sleep orders in disguise?”

Don’t get me wrong. I am fascinated by how much more we know about the brain’s influence over our behaviors. Recently, I did an interview with Dr. Sandra Bond Chapman of the Center of BrainHealth at University of Texas at Dallas. She talked about how the brain’s development affects early learning. You can read more about her thoughts at this link.

Still, I have wondered whether the science of brain chemistry has risen to such a place that we may overlook other reasons for behavior. That includes whether the old-fashioned notion of sin could perhaps also explain the actions people take. Could it be that man’s rebellion against God is driving people to act the way they do as much as any influence their brain has on their actions?

We can never quantify the reasons for actions, but I would like to hear your thoughts about this issue: Are we relying too much on the science of the brain to explain human behaviors?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism

When our universe came in to existence, two major components were its outcome; matter and life. Matter, comprising the sun, planets, moon, and everything else in the universe was programmed to maintain its own equilibrium, and doing precisely what they were scheduled to do. As humans, we were not set on a fixed program, but are equipped with a brain to freely guide us to find our own dynamic balance.

When we go off the balance, we consciously or instinctively make attempts to regain that elusive balance, failure to do so will result in a variety of pleasant and unpleasant actions that we may enjoy and or painfully endure. For guidance, we reach out to the stocked shelf and grab elements of religion like forgiveness, repentance, prayers, meditation and a variety of prescriptions to reboot our system.

Are we relying too much on the science of the brain to explain human behaviors?

Not at all, we are still at a nascent stage of exploring all that our brain does reflexively by the deficiency or excess of the chemicals. The more we identify the elements the greater chances we have of mitigating the nature of our being. Thanks to the insights unearthed in the interview with Dr. Sandra Bond Chapman. It gives a lot of hope.

However, a greater part of our behavior is nurtured by the social aspect of the environment, including what transpires in the developmental stage of our lives and as a member of the society at large. The founding fathers of human behavior like Freud, Jung and others were successful in identifying the behavioral issues stemming from nurture.

And now the social scientists have a greater role to play in completing the transaction of human behavior to separate the genuine conflicts from imagined ones to keep societal equilibrium. The new conflicts are a product of people of different faiths, cultures and races, working, eating, playing, marrying, and doing things together. Even with minimal interactions we have at this time, it is generating conflicts between those who believe their path alone brings salvation and those who believe in other avenues.

Pluralism is the upcoming social supplement for salvation. If we can learn to respect the otherness of others and accept the God-given uniqueness of each one of us, then conflicts fade and solutions emerge for cohesive and functional societies.

...........

To see all the other responses, at Dallas Morning News at: http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/05/texas-faith-do-we-put-too-much-emphasis-on-the-brain-to-explain-human-behaviors.html/


....Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest onSean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly atHuffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal sitewww.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.

Texas Faith: The Righteous Mind of Tsarnaev Brothers

3,300 Americans have been killed in violence since the Newtown Massacre. Was the Newtown killer, Wisconsin shooter or the Denver murderer authorized by Americans Christiansto kill? American Muslims did not authorize Major Nidal and Faisal Shahzad either. Indeed, if they had any inkling, they would have been the first to report them to the FBI. Timothy McVeigh was a looney and acted on his own, so are the Tsarnaev brothers who acted on their own - continued: http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2013/04/texas-faith-righteous-mind-of-tsarnaev.html

Texas Faith: The Righteous Mind of the Brothers Tsarnaev 
By Bill McKenzie/ Editorial Columnist | Published 11:46 AM -04/23/2013

The part of the Boston story that mystifies me is how two brothers reportedly led fairly normal lives after they came to Boston, but then something flipped and their thinking grew rigid. So rigid that they decided to blow up innocents along the Boston Marathon route in order to make a statement.

How does something like that happen?

Jonathan Haidt argues in his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion that the righteous mind can readily shift into combat mode in political and moral arguments.We launch rhetorical grenades, which impress members of our own group, writes Haidt. But that does little to change the minds of our opponents, especially if they are in combat mode, too.

Of course, the Tsarnaev brothers did more than launch rhetorical grenades. They chose murder over the hard work of persuasion.

“If you really want to change someone’s mind on a moral or political matter,” Haidt counters, ” you’ll need to see things from that person’s angle as well as your own. And if you truly do see it the other person’s way — deeply and intuitively — you might even find your own mind opening in response.”

In other words, it is risky business trying to persuade people. The exercise may prompt us to change our own minds, which can be unsettling.”

So, here’s the question for you: Is it possible to keep the combat mode of the righteous mind from kicking in? If so, how?

MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism, Dallas, and Speaker on interfaith matters, diversity and pluralism
 

America’s success in creating a cohesive environment to work and function effectively has hinged on a can-do attitude. Indeed, we have a choice “to keep the combat mode of the righteous mind from kicking in” or we can opt to let things go sour. But at the end, we have to restore the balance. We cannot function in a chaotic society.

Jonathan Haidt’s statement is certainly unsettling. The idea of seeing another person’s angle takes time, patience and humility. There is a fear in us, that knowing another point of view might change us, and we strongly resist it. On the surface, it amounts to self-negation, compromise or giving up on our own values, but shamelessly some of us demand the same from others.

The Tsarnaev brothers chose murder over the hard work of persuasion. They simply did not understand how democracy functions.

The Muslim community has done everything possible to guard the safety of fellow Americans, and nearly all of the bad guys caught by the FBI were reported by Muslims. Indeed the NYPD surveillance report violated civil rights, but the outcome absolved the Muslim community from radicalization.

GOP Rep. Peter King, chairman of the House’s homeland security subcommittee said this week: “Ninety-nine percent of Muslims are outstanding Americans, but the fact is, that’s where the threat is coming,” and added, ““If you know a threat is coming from a certain community, that’s where you look.”

As a Muslim I welcome this with a caution to Congressman Peter King: No witch hunting, sir. You will do more harm to the cohesive fabric of America than those terrorists could ever do. Please heed the wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr. He said “Injustice to one is injustice to all.” Inflicting apprehension on Muslims is drilling fear in all Americans.

Since the Newtown massacre, 3,300 Americans have been killed in violence. Was the Newtown killer, Wisconsin shooter or Denver murderer authorized by American Christians to kill? American Muslims did not authorize Major Nidal and Faisal Shahzad either. Indeed, if they had any inkling, they would have been the first to report them to the FBI.

Added 

Timothy McVeigh was a looney and acted on his own, so are the Tsarnaev brothers who acted on their own. US News on NBC reports that Dzhokhar has admitted to acting alone. 

As a society we need to make an effort to be inclusive in everything we do, from schools to places of worship and work place, a new culture of cohesiveness needs to emerge, where no one feels alienated. We need to watch for those, who have difficulty in resolving conflicts through dialogue and fall prey to the temptations of taking other's life.

To see all the 7 responses, please visit:  
 http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/2013/04/texas-faith-the-righteous-mind-of-the-brothers-tsarnaev.html/


....Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel,India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest onSean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly atHuffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal sitewww.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.